LETTER FROM AROUND THE WORLD

The postcard below, I received in 1997 from my Grandma June.  There were a few times when she escaped the harsh Wisconsin winters and visited friends in Arizona.  In this postcard, Grandma June is visiting the Grand Canyon and wrote:

                  Hi Maria, A teenager threw his tennis shoe into the canyon and you couldn’t 
                  even see where it landed.  Love Grandma

POSTCARD FROM GRANDMA JUNE 1997

She was my first pen pal and I would wager that I have had an average of at least one to four pen pals at various times for the last 15 years of my life.  Even though the letters I received from my Grandma were usually on the short side, I was always excited to receive something in the mail.  I believe there is something timeless about writing a letter to person and then waiting days or weeks for them to receive it.  It reminds me of the early settlers leaving behind European roots for the New World and to never to return home, only through the words on paper that they sent across the ocean hoping it would make it to the hands of their loved ones.

With internet and text messaging and all other technological ways we communicate that are usually fast and quick ways to talk with our friends down the block or in another country.  I often use the powers of modern communication myself, but when you take the time to construct a hand written letter to a specific loved one, you tend to put more thought into your words.  For example when you are texting someone it is a ongoing conversation constantly going back and forth, where you both keep responding to the others remarks and most likely in incomplete sentences and using an acronyms, such as LOL.  A letter starts off as a one sided conversation where you are composing your thoughts and ideas to a friend in the hopes that they will respond back with their own words and thoughts.   

When browsing at your local book store you will sometime come across books such as Letter of Ernest Hemingway.  You can still find entire books completely based on letter from famous writers, such as Virginia Woolf and F. Scott Fitzgerald, and collection of condolence letters that Abraham Lincoln wrote during the Civil War. When old letters of historical figures are discovered we get a small glimpse into the thoughts and emotions of the actual person and not just what has been written in history books.  I often wonder if someday in the near future there will be electronic books called Text Messages of Love: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or Famous Tweets of Barack Obama.
 

I have corresponded with friends and family members across the United States and around the world.  While my good friend Angela was in the Peace Corps in Costa Rica I had to write her letters to communicate with her.  Since she was in a small village, that did not have a strong internet connection this was our main source of communication for those two years.  I remember I sent her a care package once and included a tea sampler.  She wrote back that her host family, whom she was staying with, had never seen so many different types of teas before. 

DINOSAURS I-10 CABAZON, CALIFORNIA 2013

My longest correspondence has been with my friend, Brittany, who was fellow Co-President of College Feminist at UWM when I was undergraduate.  She has been living out in San Francisco for about ten years now and we are still writing letters to each other every few months.  Talking about books we have read, dreams of finding a new jobs, trying to start families, and many other subjects. 

TONGARIRO NATIONAL PARK, NEW ZEALAND

My friend Katie Mac, is currently living in Wellington, New Zealand, the land of Hobbits.  She sends me cards with the breath taking views of that island country.  A few winters ago, Katie Mac described having a BBQ in 80 degree weather on Christmas day, while I was dealing the cold and dark winters of Wisconsin.  It felt like she was living it up in King’s Landing and I was trapped in Winterfell.  I have now mixed both Lord of the Rings and A Game of Thrones references into the same paragraph making it official that I am a nerd when it comes to fantasy adventure books and movies.   

To conclude, I know many of you are sending out Christmas cards to your family and friends in the last few weeks, which is wonderful.  However, I would really recommend sending letters to those you love through-out the year.  I know it’s a lot easier to “like” someone’s profile picture on Facebook, but it means so much more to send that person a letter in the mail.  I know that the letters people have sent me over the years have meant so much to me and I continue to do my best to write them back. 

LIBRARY REVIEW: East Branch

THE GRAND OPENING ON NOVEMBER 22, 2014

I have been a lover of libraries for many years now.  One of my favorite Disney moment was in Beauty and the Beast, when Beast shows Belle his private library and she exclaims, "I have never seen so many books in my entire life."  There is something wonderful being surrounded by shelves filled with books. I love being in a large room with other readers and you are all in this quite peaceful space. Everyone, head is in a book, in worlds of your own imaginations, but we are still sharing the joy of reading which floats in the air.  I have explored many of the libraries in the Milwaukee County system.  For this week blog I thought I review the re-opening of the East Side Library, which they now call the East Branch.  Or was it always called the East Branch?  I'm not sure if I just referred to it as the East Side location in the past.  They completely destroyed the old library and they rebuilt a new building and now there are condos on the upper floors of the library.

The new library has a very modern look about it and it has it's very own fireplace.  They have large windows that give a good view of North Avenue and Bean's & Barely, a local restaurant across the street.  They have a small room for  silent study.  There was a descant amount of people hanging out on the Saturday afternoon, when I decided to visit. There is a children area, which includes a dry erase board that they can draw on, which is pretty cute.  There is a conference space area, you will view this when first entering the library.  Ashley came here a different day and said they were holding a meeting in this location.

CHILDREN AREA

CONFERENCE SPACE

I would have thought the library would have been bigger.  Ashley, mentioned to me that she expected there to be more books.  And I agree there did not seem to be as many rows of book shelves as I would have hoped for.  They may have thought about making the library two floors giving more room for extra books and more desks for college students to work at.  However, I did notice they had laptops that you could check out and use inside the library, which is really nice.  Many of us have are own personal computers and other electronic devices, that we forget some people depend on the library to gain free access to computers and the Internet.  Overall, I did enjoy the time I spent reading in this library and hope to make it back there soon. 

READING BOSSYPANTS WHILE SITTING BY THE FIRE

21-DAY MEDITATION EXPERIENCE: OPRAH & DEEPAK: ENERGY OF ATTRACTION

November 3 to 23rd, 2014

DAY 1: The Nature of Desire: My life moves forward through desire.

I have just completed my first mediation.  It has left my mind peaceful and concentrating on my breath makes me feel more centered in my body.  Darcy, one of my cats, does not like me closing my eyes and trying to meditate, she is biting my head-phones cord.  

DAY 2: The Spirit of Desire: My desires make me feel alive.

Oprah starts each 20 minute program and today she mention that many people feel guilty about having desires, but that having desires is natural.  At times I tended to feel guilty about having so many desires.  I also believe that I am still unaware of what I truly desire from my life.  I hope this process will help figure out my true desires in life.  

DAY 3: The Source and Goal of Desire: My true self contains every possibility.

There are both shallow and deep desires.  The shallow ones for money and power may bring momentary joy, but deep desires have a more profound impact.  I found it interesting that they state that deep desires, come from inside.  When I was younger I desired to have close friendships and as I started college I did discover deeper friendships.  In reflection I got this desire by making myself more open to others and this all came from my own efforts.

DAY 4: Effortless Creation: My desires are fulfilled from my true self.

Today, I meditated after having a job interview this morning and after struggling to walk in heels in windy weather.  It was difficult to clear my mind of thoughts, but it did help to relax my anxieties of the possibility of new job.  To quote Deepak, I hope that “my desires have the power to manifest” and I get this job opportunity.

DAY 5: The Fulfillment of Desire: I deserve complete fulfillment.

Deepak mentioned today that it is our personal choices are what get attracted to us and that light attracts light.  I may be starting to see the power of this stuff, because after six years of trying to find a new job after graduate school I was offered a new job!! And I accepted the position and I believe this job could be something I enjoy doing!! 

DAY 6: The Power of Attention: My attention activates my desires.

If you want a dream to come true it takes more than dreaming, we must have a clear attention.  At times I find my attention is caught up in what others think of me.  But this is a waste of my attention; I should focus it more inward and onto what I want from this life and not how others view me. 

 DAY 7: Your Deepest Desire: My deepest desire is for completeness.

The reason, I decided to do this meditation experience was not to attract a new job, even though it is happy result.  It was to find peace within myself, so I agree with this mantra that “my deepest desire is for completeness.”  I will also have some struggles with family, jobs, and money to varying degrees.  However, if I am able to discover my authentic self through meditation, I can handle the stress and anxiety better. 

 

DAY 8: The Royal Road to Manifestation: My intention holds the key to fulfillment.

So we’ve made it to week two of this journey.  Today trip of expanding awareness was difficult to complete with my wife watching “Criminal Minds” in the other rooms and cats crying for attention.  Still this process reminds me I must be awake to life. 

DAY 9: The Matrix of Manifestation: Unbounded Awareness:  I am pure unbounded awareness.

Each session lasts around 20 minutes and for about half you are sitting with your eyes close trying to repeating in your mind the daily Sanskrit mantra.  For example today’s mantra was “Om Hreem,” meaning “I see the unity behind diversity.”  The house was quite today and though my mind wandered at times I kept trying to focus on “Om Hreem” and by the end of the session my body was still and I felt very relaxed. 

   

DAY 10: The Matrix of Manifestation: Focus: My awareness is focused.

The thing I take away from today’s class is that one should not give attention to what you don’t like.  We tend to put too much focus on the negative, but the focus should be on the positive and our dreams. 

DAY 11: The Matrix of Manifestation: Flexible Consciousness: My awareness is infinitely adaptable.

As I’ve gotten older I realized that being adaptable is very important.  There is this line from the 1995 movie Kicking and Screaming that reminds how we can’t plan our life, “How do you make God laugh?  Make a plan.”  With manifestation we should be aware of our desires and stay focus, but when it comes to the outcomes we must go with the flow for they do not always go as we plan.  

DAY 12: Living Manifestation: I manifest desire easily and naturally.

The best way to manifest ones desire is to live a conscious lifestyle.  Starting in my twenties and probably continuing the rest of my life I’ve been on a constant journey for self-awareness

.

DAY 13: Manifesting From Your True Self: My desires manifest at the right time and place.

I did not sleep well and had to work early so after this session my desire is manifesting a nap, I must obey.

DAY 14: Spiritual Manifestation: Fulfilling my dreams fulfills my spirit.

Oprah mentioned that when you let your desires be fulfilled you are not just helping your own spirit, but others.  This is a concept my friend, Angela, and I have often discussed, that taking care of your own needs and happiness makes you better able to help those you love.  Self-care is vital to helping others. 

DAY 15: Sharing Your Happiness: The happiness of others is my own happiness.

At times we all let our egos get the better of us, but true happiness comes from sharing it with others.  When I found out I got a new job, I called my cousin, Chris, to tell him the news.  I was feeling mixed emotions about this new journey, but when I told Chris, he said, “it’s the best news I have heard in weeks.”  Chris being happy about my situation brought me more joy and excitement about this opportunity. 

DAY 16: Trusting Nature’s Course: Everyone’s spiritual path is perfect.

Today lesson focused on supporting others spiritual path and not opposing our path on them.  It is a good point, I know that this meditation has helped me so far, but this is not everyone’s cup of tea.  

DAY 17: Playful Manifestation: Desire is my creative play.

At the end of each meditation Deepak rings a small bell to end the session.  I will open my eyes and sometimes looking out my kitchen window I feel like I have just returned to the waking world.  If it is a good meditation I am drawn into my own mind and body that the daily world and it troubles and deadlines briefly disappear from my radar for those ten minutes. 

DAY 18: Manifesting Through Grace: I am grateful for divine manifestations.

The whole goal of meditation is to have the divine nature of the soul to be revealed in your human nature.  Deepak aim is to have us link our soul and human nature into one. 

DAY 19: Becoming a Co-Creator: I enjoy being a co-creator

Today, Oprah began by quoting, Sir Isaac Newton, “for every action there is an equal and opposite re-action.”  The point she was getting across is that we are co-creating our lives and what we do shapes our lives and that we are the master of our fate.  I agree that we forget all too often that a good chunk of our lives and happiness is in our own hands.  

DAY 20: Finding Your Freedom: I manifest my desires in freedom.

Knowing who you really are and embracing that power one can manifest dreams.  It is through self-awareness you realize you are enough.  

DAY 21: Creating Peace: My presence creates peace.

We have reached the end and the final thought is that in an enlightened state your being is more important than you’re doing.  Yesterday was last day at Walgreens and I had a get together in the evening to celebrate the conclusion.  A co-worker said that she admired the peaceful state that I had brought to the stressful work place.  I do notice that when you are around people who give off negative emotions it does affect ones mood.  At the same account when we can be at peace with ourselves, we can help spread a positive mood to others.  

Namaste

EPILOGUE: The three week challenged came to an end about week ago and I do find myself missing the daily meditations with Oprah and Deepak.  It was difficult to fit these 20 minute sessions on certain days, but they always left me peaceful.  So much so that I am requesting I am requesting “Perfect Health” another 21 day meditation challenge for Christmas.  I am still curious to see how meditation will alter my life, but I most point out this journey was called “Energy of Attraction” and I did find new job within these last few weeks. 

FIVE TIPS TO HELP YOU FIND A JOB:

When Ashley, asked me about my upcoming post and I told her I was giving job advice, she doubted my expertise. Since, I who’ve now been hired for 3 different jobs in my life and is now giving advice. I had to laugh, but co-workers asked me last week, how I finally managed to escape from this 24 hour pharmacy.  To be upfront there is no real secret to explain how I broke free. However, I decided to give 5 helpful hints anyway.

1)      Cover letter, they say you should tailor each letter to the job you are applying for.  I am not sure how much these letters count for, but I would recommend including them if possible just take the extra step.  I for one am very glad I will hopefully not have to write one of these for a long time.  I’m also glad I do not have to fill out another online application, where I have to take everything that is already in my resume and then put into this new form.

2)      Bother your friends, family, and casual acquaintances who have a job at a place you would enjoy working at.  No one should be safe, constantly stay on them about new job openings.  I know that many of my friends were happy to hear that I finally found a job and that a few were also glad that I would finally stop pestering them about job openings.    

3)      Send a “Thank You” letter after every interview.  This advice came from Ashley, who is reading What Color Is Your Parachute? : A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career Changers by Richard N. Bolles.  Why would you thank someone who makes you list your strengths and weakness after knowing them for 5 minutes?  I guess to make a good impression and make sure they remember your name.

4)      Pursue other hobbies and dreams while on the hunt.  This may seem counter-productive, but when you have been searching for job for long period of time and meeting only rejection, it wears on your self-confidence.  I have spent hours complaining to Ashley about this frustration and the final decision is always out of your hands.  However, I was also complained to Ashley how I wanted to write more and this was not out of my hands.  Starting this blog a few months ago, forced me to take control of one of my dreams and actually be able to accomplish it.  

5)      The only true secret is to stay motivated and keep applying.  I took breaks at time to keep my sanity, but then I always had to start applying again.  Since, most likely no one is going to hire you for a job that you did not apply for.  One thing I would tell Ashley when we were feeling low about job prospects, is that I always had faith we would find a job, because I had found her.  Let me explain, in my early twenties I was frustrated with being single and not dating anyone really and worried I would never find a partner.  Then one night at Landmark when I was pursing lost cause, who should enter my life but Ashley and she changed everything.  So keep the faith and know you will find that job or loved one someday, but you need to keep putting yourself out there for the world.   

 

16 YEARS TRAPPED AT THE CORNER OF HAPPY & HEALTHY

This is picture of me I have in journal

                   When I turned 16 years old on January 7^th, 1998 I decided it was time for me to find a part-time job.   About a week or two later I was working at my local Walgreens as a service clerk a few times a week.  I would never had expected that I would stay with this company for almost 17 years and now in 8 days on November 22^nd I will be working my final shift at America’s favorite pharmacy.  Originally I chose to work for Walgreens, because I did not want to work in fast food and there are few options for teenagers in high school.  A funny fact is that Ashley, my wife, worked at a Walgreens back in her home state of Texas.  However, she only stayed at the company for less than a week before she made her escape.  I have so many mixed feelings as I approach my last day, but overall I am very happy to be leaving the company.

                  While I was in high school and getting my undergraduate degree, it was a good job overall to have.  They were flexible with my schedule, had a profit sharing program that I joined when I turned 18, and had paid vacation days.  I could handle my hours at Walgreens better back then, because all along I thought to myself that my main role in life was of student and once I graduated I would shortly leave Walgreens to start my “real job.”  Then in December of 2004 I graduated with my bachelors of Sociology and it was nice to just work full-time at store for a bit and take a break from school.  However, when I finally decided to start looking for a new full time job I found this more difficult than I predicted.  At Walgreens I was no longer a service clerk, but now a photo-specialist.  I enjoyed hiding out by the photo machine, trying to avoid customers and just developing the pictures.  Film was still pretty popular back then and digital cameras were just starting to become popular.  I loved glimpsing photos of people on vacations and weddings, you got to see their happy moments.

                  Since, the job hunt was not going well, I decided that I should go back and get my Masters in Sociology.  In the fall of 2006, I went back to UWM and in addition to attending graduate classes I became a teaching assistant for “Sociology of Sexuality” and then “Social Problem” course.  Even though I was often nervous speaking in front of the students, I really enjoyed this job.  I wore professional clothes, not blue vest or scrubs, and I had my own desk and an office that I shared with a few other graduate students.  I felt like this job was the job I always wanted to work at.  During these few years of graduate school I continued to still work a few days a week at Walgreens.  Again it was good to get some extra money and of course I’d quit soon after graduate school.

                  Then in May 2009 I defend my MA paper, “Young Transgender Women’s Attitudes on Sexual Reassignment Surgery.”  With my new degree in hand I started applying for my new career and again I foolishly thought this should not take so long.  Prior to this working at Walgreens was an okay job, I had some great co-workers and it paid the bills.  However, now that I was no longer a graduate student, I became a full-time worker at Walgreens.  I feel bad admitting that I worked at Walgreens when meeting new people and they would ask me what I did for a living.  Friends from high school would be amazed at times to learn that yes, I was still at Walgreens.   I know many amazing and smart people who’ve worked at Walgreens and continue to work for the company, they have nothing to feel ashamed about.  It was my own insecurities and I felt there was this injustice that now that I have a MA and I am still working in retail, what did I do wrong?  There is not enough room in those post to talk about the struggle it is for many of us to find a job in this economy.  In next weeks post maybe I'll  try to tackle this situation that many of us find ourselves in.

                  In October of 2011, I decided that since I was not escaping this store I would at least change departments.  I went from being a photo-specialist to a pharmacy technician.  Looking back this was a good decision, since it gave me experience learning something new and working in more medical environment.  It was difficult to go from knowing everything about the photo department to having to learn about various drugs and working with insurance companies.  Another big change came a few months later when I was promised a raise and more hours if I switched stores.  I had been working this entire time at the Walgreens in Wauwatosa on 76^th and Center, and they wanted me to move about a mile away to 76^th and Capitol in Milwaukee.  Anyone who works in retail knows it’s a struggle to find a job that guarantees 40 hours a week, so I went to Capitol since they were offering more hours than I was getting at the moment.

                  At 76^th and Capitol I would spend the last three years of this Walgreens saga.  This store was open 24 hours and was the busiest pharmacy in our district.  A few months after coming to this store I went to the bathroom one afternoon and while I was sitting in my stall the lady next to me fell off the toilet.  I tried to talk to her, but when she did not respond I got the pharmacist.  I found out shortly later that this young white college kid was doing heroin in our bathroom and had OD, but she was awake by the time the paramedics came.  Nothing like this happened at my old shore.    Back at Wauwatosa store we thought it was busy when they had 40 scripts to fill at a moment, at this store I have seen it at 130 scripts to fill at one time.  We are always understaffed, but my God did the time fly by in this place.  It is a mad house, but the techs there are great at their jobs and I did enjoy the fast pace of it all.  However, it is also so stressful to keep up with the filling and the huge amount of customers and I do not believe the techs don't get paid enough to deal with the stress that comes with working at this store.  

                  By some miracle last week I was offered a new job that relates better to my academic field and pays better.  This last Monday I put my two weeks-notice and I only have a handful of shifts to go at Walgreens.  My manager wanted to know if I wanted to stay on part-time and work a few times a month, so I could keep my discount and make some extra bucks.  Even though this would probably work with my new job, I want this chapter of my life to be over.  I am thankful for Walgreens for giving me a job for these past decades, but I need to move on.  I have worked with some amazing folks over the years and I wish them the best, but now I am embarking on a new journey in my life.