THE YEAR OF THE SURGERY: PART III  

                The majority of our stay in Pennsylvania was spent in the town of New Hope.  It is a small tourist village that thrives on antique stores and art galleries.  It’s located right next to the Delaware River and there is a bridge that both cars and pedestrians can cross over to enter Lambertville, New Jersey.  The reason for staying in New Hope for Ashley’s recovery was the Papillon Center, which Ashley’s surgeon Dr. McGinn ran, and was located here.  The day Ashley was released from the hospital Sean flew back to Milwaukee, so now there were three, just Ashley, Barb, and I for the next week and half.  The majority of our time would be spent in Ashley’s and my room at the Fox and Hound, a Bed & Breakfast of New Hope. ( http://www.foxhoundinn.com )

The place had a deal with the Papillon Center, so we got a reduce rate and they accommodating to Ashley’s situation.  Those first days there they brought her breakfast to our bedroom.  They made a grand breakfast and I tried each of the three bacon options they offered and sometimes helped Ashley with hers.  One of the most difficult moments of this trip was our first few days after leaving the hospital.  Ashley felt nauseous and was not eating or drinking enough.  After talking to some of my nursing family members, we felt she was having a bad reaction to the Vicodin.  We called Dr. McGinn and she told Ashley to stop the Vicodin and switch between ibuprofen and aspirin for pain relief.  Ashley had an appointment with Dr. McGinn the following morning.

Next morning at the Papillon Center, they removed Ashley’s packing and helped her with her first dilation experience.  For the next two months Ashley would have to dilate five times a day for 30 minutes intervals.  So that only two and half hours a day, not too bad, but you can’t just do all 5 back to back, you spread them apart and your whole day is spent mostly dilating with brief hours in between.  So we spent a lot of time in that room watching movies and season 9 of TV show “Supernatural.”  When we returned home, Ashley would watch 34 horror movies for the last two weeks of October and around 40 movies for November.  Starting in December she would dilate three times a day and then in April one time a day.  Then just starting a week ago on October 1^st, 2014, she will now dilate twice a week for 30 minutes for the rest of her life. 

Ashley’s recovery from the gender confirmation operation was the first time I was really in a primary caregiver role.  Those first few nights in the Fox and Hound, I would set my alarm to get up every few hours to give Ashley her pain meds, help her walk to the bathroom, and refill her ice pack.  I had no problem doing these things for my lovely wife, who I know would have done the same for me.  The problem that I had was that I was going stir crazy at times.  I thought I would be fine just chilling in the room all day, but my tolerance for watching movies is not as strong as my wife.  I am so glad that her mother was there to help take care of Ashley with me.  Unlike me, Barb seemed to be more content to staying in that one room for hours at a time, but maybe that was natural mother instincts coming out. I had to go for daily walks in New Hope, crossing the Delaware River like George Washington, and visiting shops where I couldn’t afford the antiques.  I needed to be outside and feel the fall air and get some physical activity.  Once we returned to Milwaukee, it was easier for me to hang out with Ashley while she was dilating.  We had returned to our own home and our two cats were glad to have us back. The year of the surgery has come to end and now on to new adventures.  

Ashley and Barb outside of the Fox & Hound