THE YEAR OF THE SURGERY (PART I)

                During the last ten years of our relationship, Ashley and I have found ourselves having certain big themes to particular years.  For instance we had “The Year of Europe,” where we planned our two week trip to England, France and Germany, and of course three years ago was “The Year of the Wedding.”  In a few days when it turns October 1^st, it will be the one year anniversary of when my wife had her gender confirmation surgery, also known as sex change operation.  Starting in 2013 and continuing for the first months of 2014, became known as “The Year of the Surgery.” 

                Ashley is a transwoman and for five years she had been trying to raise the money needed for her gender confirmation surgery, which is around twenty thousand dollars.  She tried to raise the funds through various fundraisers such as art show to rummage sales and this objective is one focus of her documentary, Making the Cut, which is now in the editing process.  We were finally able to afford the operation partially due to the donations, but a huge portion came from her mother, Barb, and through a loan we were granted.  Ashley decided to have the surgery in Pennsylvania, performed by Dr. Christine McGinn, who is also a transwoman.  There are small group of surgeons in the U.S. who perform the operation and Ashley had heard good reviews of Dr. McGinn.   

                The months leading up to the operation we had to figure out where we were going to stay for around two weeks, transportation, and many other factors.  Ashley had to get laser hair removal to prepare for her surgery and go off her hormones a few weeks prior to the operation.  I remember about a month or so before the operation she had gone to her primary doctor for a check-up and they had to send her results to Dr. McGinn.  Ashley’s blood work showed that her white blood cell count was low and that she may be coming down with a cold.  If Ash’s blood count did not improve, there was the possibility that we would have to push back the date of the operation.  This made both of us very nervous, because the tickets, hotels, and vacation time off from work were already set.  We really did not want to move the date, but also she was having a major operation and we did not want to risk her health.  Luckily, her next blood-test showed  that her white blood cell count was now normal. 

                On September 29^th, 2013 we woke up very early to head to the airport for a 7am flight that would take us to Pennsylvania.  Our friend, Sean, who is a part of the documentary film crew, joined us on that flight.  He was coming along to help film for the first few days prior and after the actual operation.  We flew into Philadelphia, walking the streets in search of a juice bar, since Ashley was now on a liquid diet.  Later that afternoon, we would be joined by Barb, Ashley’s mom, who would stay with us for the entire trip.  However, for the moment the we decided to visit the Mutter Museum.  Which is filled with medical oddities from tallest skeleton on display in North American to nine-foot long human colon.  Reflecting now, it seems odd we decided to visit a place filled with strange medical specimens, when Ashley was only days away from going under the knife.  Our final stop as tourists was to the Philadelphia Art Museum, here’s a picture of Ashley running up the “Rocky Steps,” this would also be the last time she would be sprinting up anything for months.   

THE SEASONS AT HUMBOLDT PARK

SUNSET (taken today 9/19/14)

            My wife has recently gotten into running and is trying to encourage me to join her in this madness.  However, I am not a runner. I am a walker.  I find that the act of going on long walks brings both my mind and body into peaceful state.  For the last five years, many of my walks have lead me to Humboldt Park, which is only about 20 minutes from our home.  Originally named South Park, it was established in 1890.  In 1900, it was renamed Humboldt Park in honor of Friedrich Heinrich Alexander von Humboldt, a Prussian botanical geographer and naturalist.  During the summer months it host Chill on the Hill, a weekly musical event on Tuesday evenings and has recently started a beer garden. 

            I walk around this park in all seasons and the beauty shifts with the weather.  In the summer months there’s a tons of children running around and family functions going on.  When the weather gets colder and the trees change, there are less people around and this is the way I prefer the park.  I will walk around the pond, watching the geese and ducks on the water and only occasionally spotting another fellow walker.  Here I can escape the problems of the modern world and ignore the distant cars and come back to nature. On these many walks I have taken pictures of the pond and now I present to you some of my favorite images that have come from various seasons. 

THE GEESE HEAD HOME

WINTER HAS COME

THE ISLAND

TWO PERSPECTIVES

A NEW HOPE

SHAKE IT OFF

              It is not always easy to be a feminist and a fan of pop music at the same time.  I love riot grrl music, but it’s not always the easiest music to dance to and I love to dance.  One of my favorite things to do in this city is to go to Mad Planet, a dance club, on Friday nights and dance to 80s music.  So when I’m driving in the car, I’ll turn on the pop stations and find out what’s the new hit single.   The song “Shake It Off” came on and I told Ashley, that this tune isn’t half bad.  She said it was Taylor Swift and I would not have guessed this was Ms. Swift.  This is the newest single off of her upcoming album 1989; this song is more pop than her usual country-pop style. 

              Yes, the beats are catchy and I have totally danced to it while doing the dishes.  On further listening I declared that the lyrics were also sending a good message to the young ladies out there. The song describes the media’s perception of Taylor being a flighty twenty-year old who’s un-lucky in love.  However, Taylor responds, “I never miss a beat.  I’m lightning on my feet.  And that’s what they don’t see… I’m dancing on my own.  I make the moves up as I go and that’s what they don’t know.”  Sadly our culture tends to focus so much the love lives of these pop divas, but Taylor demands that she is happy dancing to her own and creating her own moves.  We all get hurt in the game of love and people make assumptions about our lives, but we should learn to shake off their assumptions and be confident in ourselves.

           

          I rarely ever watch music videos these days, but I decided to check out the video for “Shake It Off.”  We find Taylor first as a ballerina, then break dancing, cheerleading, and twerking.  In each clip she is trying to mimic the professional dancers, but is failing and in the end is found dancing to her own dorky moves.  The video has received some criticism for perpetuating black stereotypes with the African American back up dancers’ twerking in the video.  I can see why some people may find this offensive, but I believe Swift was just trying to show the various types of dance. I doubt Taylor, meant to offend with the video.  Would it have been better for her to remove the twerking segment?  I’m not sure, since twerking is hugely popular at the moment and yes, it’s also objectifying women bodies, but it is a form of dance. Recently, Taylor has come out as a feminist and I’m glad to welcome her to the movement and I hope she keeps making songs for the ladies to dance to.    

THE THREE BEST DAYS OF MY SUMMER 2014:

1.     LOCUST STREET DAYS – June 8^th

This summer, I did not make it to Summerfest or most of the other festivals around Milwaukee area.  However, we knew a few people going to Locust Street Festival and so we thought we check it out. I rarely hang out in Riverwest, since I  moved to Bay View.  Heading over, I took a chance and called Sean and Emily, two old friends. Ashley and I have known them both for at least ten years now and we've been a close group for years.  From 2004 to 2008 we use to hang out weekly, most often on Tuesday nights at Landmark.  Now, we live in different areas of the cities and our lives are busy, and rarely do all four of us meet up. However, on this fine day we spent a few hours together again.  Having some drinks, sitting by a fire pit, and conversing like it was just another hipster Tuesday at Landmark.    

2.     CLIMBING MOUNT RAINER- June 30^th

My good friend, Laura, and I went to Seattle for a 4 day trip to visit, our lovely friend, Angela.  On our last full day on the trip, we decided to go on a day trip and hike Mt. Rainer.  I was looking forward to this day and the website, had described “Paradise,” the section we were visiting, to be filled with wildflowers and beautiful views.  I was wearing a tank top and jeans, and it was a warm summer day.  However, when we were about to embark on our hike we learned that the trail was still completely covered in snow.  The ranger told us by that in a few more weeks everything would be melted, but on that day, I was hiking up hill in snow.  I quickly realized two things: my shoes would be soaked for the rest of the day and that I needed to start working out more.  By the time we got to the top, I decided to catch my breath on a big rock and let my friends go ahead and explore the surrounding area.   For a moment I was alone with this beautiful view of Mt. Hood and Mt. St. Helens in back ground.  It kind of reminded me of “Lord of the Rings” and I was here with two amazing friends on this adventure.

3.     CORONADO BEACH – July 20^th

 

Ashely and I went on our first real vacation together in years to San Diego.  The best part of the trip was our beach day.  We sat in the sun reading books and I made a long walk to the famous Hotel del Coronado in search of overpriced snacks.   Many people say they prefer swimming in pools, due to temperature or that it’s cleaner, but give me the ocean.  I loved swimming in the Pacific with my wife.  The two of us waiting for a big wave to come along and then jumping with the waves as they hit our bodies.  I had not swam in the ocean in many years and I was so glad to be there with Ashley, it was a grand day indeed.