21-DAY MEDITATION EXPERIENCE: OPRAH & DEEPAK: ENERGY OF ATTRACTION

November 3 to 23rd, 2014

DAY 1: The Nature of Desire: My life moves forward through desire.

I have just completed my first mediation.  It has left my mind peaceful and concentrating on my breath makes me feel more centered in my body.  Darcy, one of my cats, does not like me closing my eyes and trying to meditate, she is biting my head-phones cord.  

DAY 2: The Spirit of Desire: My desires make me feel alive.

Oprah starts each 20 minute program and today she mention that many people feel guilty about having desires, but that having desires is natural.  At times I tended to feel guilty about having so many desires.  I also believe that I am still unaware of what I truly desire from my life.  I hope this process will help figure out my true desires in life.  

DAY 3: The Source and Goal of Desire: My true self contains every possibility.

There are both shallow and deep desires.  The shallow ones for money and power may bring momentary joy, but deep desires have a more profound impact.  I found it interesting that they state that deep desires, come from inside.  When I was younger I desired to have close friendships and as I started college I did discover deeper friendships.  In reflection I got this desire by making myself more open to others and this all came from my own efforts.

DAY 4: Effortless Creation: My desires are fulfilled from my true self.

Today, I meditated after having a job interview this morning and after struggling to walk in heels in windy weather.  It was difficult to clear my mind of thoughts, but it did help to relax my anxieties of the possibility of new job.  To quote Deepak, I hope that “my desires have the power to manifest” and I get this job opportunity.

DAY 5: The Fulfillment of Desire: I deserve complete fulfillment.

Deepak mentioned today that it is our personal choices are what get attracted to us and that light attracts light.  I may be starting to see the power of this stuff, because after six years of trying to find a new job after graduate school I was offered a new job!! And I accepted the position and I believe this job could be something I enjoy doing!! 

DAY 6: The Power of Attention: My attention activates my desires.

If you want a dream to come true it takes more than dreaming, we must have a clear attention.  At times I find my attention is caught up in what others think of me.  But this is a waste of my attention; I should focus it more inward and onto what I want from this life and not how others view me. 

 DAY 7: Your Deepest Desire: My deepest desire is for completeness.

The reason, I decided to do this meditation experience was not to attract a new job, even though it is happy result.  It was to find peace within myself, so I agree with this mantra that “my deepest desire is for completeness.”  I will also have some struggles with family, jobs, and money to varying degrees.  However, if I am able to discover my authentic self through meditation, I can handle the stress and anxiety better. 

 

DAY 8: The Royal Road to Manifestation: My intention holds the key to fulfillment.

So we’ve made it to week two of this journey.  Today trip of expanding awareness was difficult to complete with my wife watching “Criminal Minds” in the other rooms and cats crying for attention.  Still this process reminds me I must be awake to life. 

DAY 9: The Matrix of Manifestation: Unbounded Awareness:  I am pure unbounded awareness.

Each session lasts around 20 minutes and for about half you are sitting with your eyes close trying to repeating in your mind the daily Sanskrit mantra.  For example today’s mantra was “Om Hreem,” meaning “I see the unity behind diversity.”  The house was quite today and though my mind wandered at times I kept trying to focus on “Om Hreem” and by the end of the session my body was still and I felt very relaxed. 

   

DAY 10: The Matrix of Manifestation: Focus: My awareness is focused.

The thing I take away from today’s class is that one should not give attention to what you don’t like.  We tend to put too much focus on the negative, but the focus should be on the positive and our dreams. 

DAY 11: The Matrix of Manifestation: Flexible Consciousness: My awareness is infinitely adaptable.

As I’ve gotten older I realized that being adaptable is very important.  There is this line from the 1995 movie Kicking and Screaming that reminds how we can’t plan our life, “How do you make God laugh?  Make a plan.”  With manifestation we should be aware of our desires and stay focus, but when it comes to the outcomes we must go with the flow for they do not always go as we plan.  

DAY 12: Living Manifestation: I manifest desire easily and naturally.

The best way to manifest ones desire is to live a conscious lifestyle.  Starting in my twenties and probably continuing the rest of my life I’ve been on a constant journey for self-awareness

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DAY 13: Manifesting From Your True Self: My desires manifest at the right time and place.

I did not sleep well and had to work early so after this session my desire is manifesting a nap, I must obey.

DAY 14: Spiritual Manifestation: Fulfilling my dreams fulfills my spirit.

Oprah mentioned that when you let your desires be fulfilled you are not just helping your own spirit, but others.  This is a concept my friend, Angela, and I have often discussed, that taking care of your own needs and happiness makes you better able to help those you love.  Self-care is vital to helping others. 

DAY 15: Sharing Your Happiness: The happiness of others is my own happiness.

At times we all let our egos get the better of us, but true happiness comes from sharing it with others.  When I found out I got a new job, I called my cousin, Chris, to tell him the news.  I was feeling mixed emotions about this new journey, but when I told Chris, he said, “it’s the best news I have heard in weeks.”  Chris being happy about my situation brought me more joy and excitement about this opportunity. 

DAY 16: Trusting Nature’s Course: Everyone’s spiritual path is perfect.

Today lesson focused on supporting others spiritual path and not opposing our path on them.  It is a good point, I know that this meditation has helped me so far, but this is not everyone’s cup of tea.  

DAY 17: Playful Manifestation: Desire is my creative play.

At the end of each meditation Deepak rings a small bell to end the session.  I will open my eyes and sometimes looking out my kitchen window I feel like I have just returned to the waking world.  If it is a good meditation I am drawn into my own mind and body that the daily world and it troubles and deadlines briefly disappear from my radar for those ten minutes. 

DAY 18: Manifesting Through Grace: I am grateful for divine manifestations.

The whole goal of meditation is to have the divine nature of the soul to be revealed in your human nature.  Deepak aim is to have us link our soul and human nature into one. 

DAY 19: Becoming a Co-Creator: I enjoy being a co-creator

Today, Oprah began by quoting, Sir Isaac Newton, “for every action there is an equal and opposite re-action.”  The point she was getting across is that we are co-creating our lives and what we do shapes our lives and that we are the master of our fate.  I agree that we forget all too often that a good chunk of our lives and happiness is in our own hands.  

DAY 20: Finding Your Freedom: I manifest my desires in freedom.

Knowing who you really are and embracing that power one can manifest dreams.  It is through self-awareness you realize you are enough.  

DAY 21: Creating Peace: My presence creates peace.

We have reached the end and the final thought is that in an enlightened state your being is more important than you’re doing.  Yesterday was last day at Walgreens and I had a get together in the evening to celebrate the conclusion.  A co-worker said that she admired the peaceful state that I had brought to the stressful work place.  I do notice that when you are around people who give off negative emotions it does affect ones mood.  At the same account when we can be at peace with ourselves, we can help spread a positive mood to others.  

Namaste

EPILOGUE: The three week challenged came to an end about week ago and I do find myself missing the daily meditations with Oprah and Deepak.  It was difficult to fit these 20 minute sessions on certain days, but they always left me peaceful.  So much so that I am requesting I am requesting “Perfect Health” another 21 day meditation challenge for Christmas.  I am still curious to see how meditation will alter my life, but I most point out this journey was called “Energy of Attraction” and I did find new job within these last few weeks. 

FIVE TIPS TO HELP YOU FIND A JOB:

When Ashley, asked me about my upcoming post and I told her I was giving job advice, she doubted my expertise. Since, I who’ve now been hired for 3 different jobs in my life and is now giving advice. I had to laugh, but co-workers asked me last week, how I finally managed to escape from this 24 hour pharmacy.  To be upfront there is no real secret to explain how I broke free. However, I decided to give 5 helpful hints anyway.

1)      Cover letter, they say you should tailor each letter to the job you are applying for.  I am not sure how much these letters count for, but I would recommend including them if possible just take the extra step.  I for one am very glad I will hopefully not have to write one of these for a long time.  I’m also glad I do not have to fill out another online application, where I have to take everything that is already in my resume and then put into this new form.

2)      Bother your friends, family, and casual acquaintances who have a job at a place you would enjoy working at.  No one should be safe, constantly stay on them about new job openings.  I know that many of my friends were happy to hear that I finally found a job and that a few were also glad that I would finally stop pestering them about job openings.    

3)      Send a “Thank You” letter after every interview.  This advice came from Ashley, who is reading What Color Is Your Parachute? : A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career Changers by Richard N. Bolles.  Why would you thank someone who makes you list your strengths and weakness after knowing them for 5 minutes?  I guess to make a good impression and make sure they remember your name.

4)      Pursue other hobbies and dreams while on the hunt.  This may seem counter-productive, but when you have been searching for job for long period of time and meeting only rejection, it wears on your self-confidence.  I have spent hours complaining to Ashley about this frustration and the final decision is always out of your hands.  However, I was also complained to Ashley how I wanted to write more and this was not out of my hands.  Starting this blog a few months ago, forced me to take control of one of my dreams and actually be able to accomplish it.  

5)      The only true secret is to stay motivated and keep applying.  I took breaks at time to keep my sanity, but then I always had to start applying again.  Since, most likely no one is going to hire you for a job that you did not apply for.  One thing I would tell Ashley when we were feeling low about job prospects, is that I always had faith we would find a job, because I had found her.  Let me explain, in my early twenties I was frustrated with being single and not dating anyone really and worried I would never find a partner.  Then one night at Landmark when I was pursing lost cause, who should enter my life but Ashley and she changed everything.  So keep the faith and know you will find that job or loved one someday, but you need to keep putting yourself out there for the world.   

 

16 YEARS TRAPPED AT THE CORNER OF HAPPY & HEALTHY

This is picture of me I have in journal

                   When I turned 16 years old on January 7^th, 1998 I decided it was time for me to find a part-time job.   About a week or two later I was working at my local Walgreens as a service clerk a few times a week.  I would never had expected that I would stay with this company for almost 17 years and now in 8 days on November 22^nd I will be working my final shift at America’s favorite pharmacy.  Originally I chose to work for Walgreens, because I did not want to work in fast food and there are few options for teenagers in high school.  A funny fact is that Ashley, my wife, worked at a Walgreens back in her home state of Texas.  However, she only stayed at the company for less than a week before she made her escape.  I have so many mixed feelings as I approach my last day, but overall I am very happy to be leaving the company.

                  While I was in high school and getting my undergraduate degree, it was a good job overall to have.  They were flexible with my schedule, had a profit sharing program that I joined when I turned 18, and had paid vacation days.  I could handle my hours at Walgreens better back then, because all along I thought to myself that my main role in life was of student and once I graduated I would shortly leave Walgreens to start my “real job.”  Then in December of 2004 I graduated with my bachelors of Sociology and it was nice to just work full-time at store for a bit and take a break from school.  However, when I finally decided to start looking for a new full time job I found this more difficult than I predicted.  At Walgreens I was no longer a service clerk, but now a photo-specialist.  I enjoyed hiding out by the photo machine, trying to avoid customers and just developing the pictures.  Film was still pretty popular back then and digital cameras were just starting to become popular.  I loved glimpsing photos of people on vacations and weddings, you got to see their happy moments.

                  Since, the job hunt was not going well, I decided that I should go back and get my Masters in Sociology.  In the fall of 2006, I went back to UWM and in addition to attending graduate classes I became a teaching assistant for “Sociology of Sexuality” and then “Social Problem” course.  Even though I was often nervous speaking in front of the students, I really enjoyed this job.  I wore professional clothes, not blue vest or scrubs, and I had my own desk and an office that I shared with a few other graduate students.  I felt like this job was the job I always wanted to work at.  During these few years of graduate school I continued to still work a few days a week at Walgreens.  Again it was good to get some extra money and of course I’d quit soon after graduate school.

                  Then in May 2009 I defend my MA paper, “Young Transgender Women’s Attitudes on Sexual Reassignment Surgery.”  With my new degree in hand I started applying for my new career and again I foolishly thought this should not take so long.  Prior to this working at Walgreens was an okay job, I had some great co-workers and it paid the bills.  However, now that I was no longer a graduate student, I became a full-time worker at Walgreens.  I feel bad admitting that I worked at Walgreens when meeting new people and they would ask me what I did for a living.  Friends from high school would be amazed at times to learn that yes, I was still at Walgreens.   I know many amazing and smart people who’ve worked at Walgreens and continue to work for the company, they have nothing to feel ashamed about.  It was my own insecurities and I felt there was this injustice that now that I have a MA and I am still working in retail, what did I do wrong?  There is not enough room in those post to talk about the struggle it is for many of us to find a job in this economy.  In next weeks post maybe I'll  try to tackle this situation that many of us find ourselves in.

                  In October of 2011, I decided that since I was not escaping this store I would at least change departments.  I went from being a photo-specialist to a pharmacy technician.  Looking back this was a good decision, since it gave me experience learning something new and working in more medical environment.  It was difficult to go from knowing everything about the photo department to having to learn about various drugs and working with insurance companies.  Another big change came a few months later when I was promised a raise and more hours if I switched stores.  I had been working this entire time at the Walgreens in Wauwatosa on 76^th and Center, and they wanted me to move about a mile away to 76^th and Capitol in Milwaukee.  Anyone who works in retail knows it’s a struggle to find a job that guarantees 40 hours a week, so I went to Capitol since they were offering more hours than I was getting at the moment.

                  At 76^th and Capitol I would spend the last three years of this Walgreens saga.  This store was open 24 hours and was the busiest pharmacy in our district.  A few months after coming to this store I went to the bathroom one afternoon and while I was sitting in my stall the lady next to me fell off the toilet.  I tried to talk to her, but when she did not respond I got the pharmacist.  I found out shortly later that this young white college kid was doing heroin in our bathroom and had OD, but she was awake by the time the paramedics came.  Nothing like this happened at my old shore.    Back at Wauwatosa store we thought it was busy when they had 40 scripts to fill at a moment, at this store I have seen it at 130 scripts to fill at one time.  We are always understaffed, but my God did the time fly by in this place.  It is a mad house, but the techs there are great at their jobs and I did enjoy the fast pace of it all.  However, it is also so stressful to keep up with the filling and the huge amount of customers and I do not believe the techs don't get paid enough to deal with the stress that comes with working at this store.  

                  By some miracle last week I was offered a new job that relates better to my academic field and pays better.  This last Monday I put my two weeks-notice and I only have a handful of shifts to go at Walgreens.  My manager wanted to know if I wanted to stay on part-time and work a few times a month, so I could keep my discount and make some extra bucks.  Even though this would probably work with my new job, I want this chapter of my life to be over.  I am thankful for Walgreens for giving me a job for these past decades, but I need to move on.  I have worked with some amazing folks over the years and I wish them the best, but now I am embarking on a new journey in my life. 

MY NEW PROFESSORS 

I really enjoyed my college experience overall both undergrad and graduate; the latter being a lot more work.  But being out of college now for six years I have come to miss the college courses and lectures that I found extremely interesting at the time.  I wish I could audit some history or English courses for fun, but time and money makes this difficult.  Instead to fill this desire I have become a fan of listening to podcast, which allows me to hear folks lecture on varying subjects that matter to them.  Here are my three favorite podcast in no specific order.  It would be difficult to rate them, because I feel their subject matter differs very much and they all speak to different parts of me.

1: SModcast    ( http://smodcast.com/channels/smodcast/)

Of all three shows this is the most recent one I have gotten into.  It started in 2007 and is hosted by director Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier, his long-time producing partner.  I have been a big fan of Smith and enjoy his films such as Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Dogma.  However, when I first saw “An Evening with Kevin Smith,” I became a much bigger fan of the man himself.  In this special he went to different universities and spoke about his hilarious adventures from New Jersey to Hollywood.  Smith is very funny and comes off as still being down to Earth, even after his fame.  The weekly podcast are him and Mosier, who is also funny, talking about random stuff from the films they are working on to crazy beavers in Canada.  He does swear quite a bit and maybe at time a little too raunchy for my liking.  Overall, I enjoy listening to these dudes banter and they also inspire me since they both created a low budget film and found success and still hold on to these DYI beliefs.

2: On Being (http://onbeing.org/ ) 

On Being with Krista Tippett, was formerly known as Speaking of Faith, started on Minnesota Public Radio back in 2001 and then aired on NPR in 2003.  Each week Tippett speaks with different public figures, who talk about a range of topics from civil rights to poetry, but they all touch on religion and spiritual beliefs people share about the world.  I really enjoy listening to this one on walks outside; because she her guest tend to speak about this world we live in and remind me that I am part of this world and all its mysteries.  Some of the guests on the show I recognized their names, such as the Dali Lama, Eve Ensler, and Phil Donahue (one of my favorite episodes); but the majority of the guest I have never heard of.  Almost every time I listen to this show I find the conversations very interesting and talking about subject matter I wish we could discuss more in everyday life.  Even if you feel that you do not prescribe to an official religion or are atheist, you can still gain some good insight in this show.   

3: This American Life (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/ )

About a few years back I saw Ira Glass, the host of This American Life, talk at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee.  When the program started they turned the lights completely off and we sat in the pitch dark when Ira started talking to the audience and it felt like you were listening to him on the radio than him actually being  right across the room.  This was probably the first podcast that I started listening to on my I-pod.  The show started in 1997 and I just learned was originally titled, Your Radio Playhouse.  When I am listening to SModcast I expect that I will be laughing and when listening to On Being that I expect to explore some cultural concepts.  However, when listening to This American Life, I tend to find myself laughing and being touched about the varying topics that the show offers.  The hour long show has some kind of main topic and then there are usual three to four acts that deal with that particular topic.  For instants, there was an episode where they hung outside a rest stop and had conversations with the different visitors on their ways to various destinations.  The show can take ordinary events and make them interesting to us the listeners.  It was on this show that I first heard the “SantaLand Diaries” an essay by David Sedaris, in which he reads on the radio about his humorous account of being a Christmas elf at Macy’s department store, so for this one episode I will be in debt to this show forever.