CHANGES & NEW CHEESE

I have left the world of retail about a month and a half ago.  Now I have started my new chapter as a case manager for clients who live in my community and have a mental illness.  When I started on December 1^st, I spent the first two weeks in class room training.  From 8am to 4pm, Monday to Friday, and I felt like I was back in high school. Previously I had been working in a busy pharmacy where I was on my feet all day and only sat down during my lunch break.   My legs felt stiff at time from sitting in one spot for hours at a time. I sat at a table with three others, who were also going to be case managers.  This also took a page from high school in that we all sat at one table, those working in group homes at a different table, and a few who were loners sat by themselves. The classroom training did teach me some new stuff, but it seemed like some of the information was more relevant to those who would be working in group homes.  

There were three tests we had to take during this course and we had to pass them all.  For some reason I had a little bit of anxiety about these tests, even though two of them were open book. .  The tests were a lot of True or False questions and few multiple-choice.   I passed all three tests on my first try and they were not that bad at all.  I think I just got freaked out by the idea of having to pass yet another obstacle.  I had been looking for a new job for so long that there is this fear that something will go wrong and I will have to start the hunting process all over again.  It felt like I was in a pin ball game and it was possible for the reset button to happen any moment.

After my class room experience, I spent the next few weeks having on the job training and following a few different case managers around.  I was excited to be finally learning what an average day on this job would consist of and to meet my new co-workers.  Everyone has been very friendly and helpful so far.  At the same time I would often come home from work exhausted.  I wanted to impress my supervisors and co-workers, so I was constantly trying to stay alert and learn all the little details and to look competent.  The tiredness could have also been due to me not been used to getting up every work at 6am and still having trouble with getting to bed as earlier.  However, now reevaluating everything that has occurred since the start of November, when I got hired for the job, I have been dealing with so much change.  We all say we want things to change in our lives, but most of us are creatures of habit and change can make us nervous.  

A few years back my cousin, Chris, recommended this short book by Spencer Johnson, called Who Moved My Cheese?  Simply it is a story of two mice and two little people who live inside a maze.  These four characters each day find a piece of cheese in the same location.  Then one day the “old cheese” is no longer in its usual place and the mice start immediately hunting for the “new cheese.”  The two little people keep returning to where they originally found the cheese, in hopes that it will return, but it has not returned.  At one point one of the little people starts exploring the maze for the “new cheese.”  At first the little person is nervous exploring the unknown parts of the maze, but the ends up enjoying the hunt, and she does find “new cheese.” 

Switching jobs I know was the correct decision, but I have moved out of my comfort zone.  I knew how to be a good pharmacy technician, but I’m still unknown territory as case manager.  I am enjoying many of the challenges coming my way, but I wish I did not have to ask so many questions.  However, change is important part of life and I do believe we need to keep putting ourselves out there, no matter what our age and fears of the unknown.  I just completed my first week on my own and things went pretty good overall.  I have a lot of paper work still to do and there is always something that needs to get done.  However, I am glad to have found some “new cheese.”